Following is the transcript from a recent FamilyLife Today radio program with guest, Kenny Luck, Men’s Pastor at Saddleback Church. This is the 2nd of 2 programs that aired with Kenny Luck as the guest. Bob=Bob Lepine, CoHost; Kenny=Kenny Luck; Dennis=Dennis Rainey, Host (Note this is a transcript and has not been edited so it might read a little strangely in some areas)
Air date: January 8, 2013
Bob: Have you heard women around you bashing their man? What do you do when that happens? Here’s advice from Kenny Luck.
Kenny: Those of you who have a good, strong, godly man instead of when you’re at tennis club, or the coffee shop, or connecting with the toddlers—jumping on the band wagon of man-bashing, as the failed brand, you can step in and say, “You know what? I don’t know what you’re talking about. My guy — he prays with my kids. He loves and cherishes me. He honors me.” You know what your friends will say? “You know, I have a sister. Does he have a brother?”
Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, January 8th. Our host is the president of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey, and I’m Bob Lepine. We’re going to talk today about men being men and about how women can help them be the men God wants them to be. Stay tuned.
And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. I’m thinking ahead. It’s about three weeks — three-and-a-half weeks — before the Super Bowl. You know, on Super Bowl Sunday, on the day of the game, you can pretty much count on the fact that most guys are going to want to kind of have that time blocked out and they’re going to want to watch the game. They are not going to be available to do a whole lot of “Honey, do” stuff around the house that afternoon; right?
Dennis: That’s correct. That’s correct.
Bob: So, I’m thinking of a wife who is planning for that weekend. She’s got the option of either her husband, on Saturday, doing all the projects around the house so that he can watch the game on Sunday; or she can send him to the Stepping Up® Super Saturday event, down at the church, that’s happening in their community. We’ve got hundreds of churches that are participating in this; but she’s not going to get any “Honey, do” lists done that day. What would your counsel to her be, Dennis?
Dennis: Give up the “Honey, do” list for a day.
Bob: How did I know that was what you would suggest?
Dennis: Give it up! I’m not trying to be a guy who is abdicating responsibility. I’m actually—I’m actually encouraging you, as a wife, to look beyond the “Honey, do” list and beyond to making an investment in your husband’s life—to encourage him, not discourage him— but encourage him to become the man God made him to be. If you send him down to the Stepping Up Super Saturday event—I can’t guarantee this because he’s got a choice—he’s got a real choice, and some guys don’t make it; but a lot will. I’d encourage you to send him down here and find out more information. They can go to FamilyLifeToday.com.
Bob: And by the way, as I said, there are hundreds of churches participating in the Super Saturday event; but there is still an opportunity for a guy to say, “Our church isn’t doing this, but I’d like for our church to do it.” You can still sign up.
Dennis: Exactly, Bob. Don’t wait for your pastor to sign your church up. Maybe, as a man, you grab the baton and take it to your pastor and say, “Let’s do this thing! Let’s make this happen in our community.”
I’m looking across the table, and there’s a guy asking for the microphone and the soapbox. Kenny Luck joins us. He’s the Men’s Pastor at Saddleback Church. He’s written a book called Sleeping Giant. He’s all over the issue of men stepping up. You believe women are important if men are going to step up; don’t you?
Kenny: Oh, my goodness, Dennis! When you guys were talking about —
Dennis: You were having a hard time being quiet.
Kenny: I was just saying — the hall pass — “Ladies, here’s the deal. When you do give permission for a desired activity — but more importantly, when you encourage your man to take ownership of his life — spiritually, relationally, maritally — in the context of other men, that’s when you get a solid result versus hinting, hoping, nagging. It’s just something where he feels that he needs to make that decision on his own — in consideration of you — but in the presence of other men, as an individual man. It’s that ownership-thing, where it is: “This is my decision, and I want to own it — apart from being in your presence — even though I love you — and apart from being connected to you as a husband and father, who has many shortcomings — I want to make this decision myself.”
So, when you were talking about “Hey, let him go. Ladies, let him go! It will be so encouraging to him,” — that’s the first point.
Second point was, I think, when we talk about waking the sleeping giant — when we talk about getting guys in and healthy, and what that means for the women and children — not just in our country, but worldwide — I think that women are going to be the accelerator of that. My feedback — thousands of emails from men — tells me that, many times, when they make a strong step toward health and God — that is met with cynicism, skepticism, or just ambivalence — maybe because of the past — maybe because of failed promises —
Kenny: — in the past. I think, once men feel and hear from their bride — their sisters-in-Christ — encouragement — and also, women-to-women — where instead of — as you’re at tennis, or the coffee shop, or connecting with the toddlers — jumping on the band wagon of man-bashing, as the failed brand. Those of you who have a good, strong, godly man, you can step in and say, “You know what? I don’t know what you’re talking about. My guy — he prays with my kids. He loves and cherishes me. He honors me.” You know what your friends will say? “Does he — I have a sister. Does he have a brother?” You know? That’s what women are looking for. So, ladies, I just want to encourage you to, as we talk about this movement of men — healthy men — we need your voice because when we talk about it, it kind of falls flat.
Bob: You talk about the fact that the men’s culture in America is a broken culture. Do you think it’s always been that way? Do you think it’s true in other cultures? I’m just wondering — I mean we live in a broken world. So, at some level, everything is broken. But has there ever been a time when you’ve looked back and say, “They understood masculinity, back there, or over here, … you know?
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