Every Mans Battle–Helping our sons fight sexual tempation
Many issues are robbing men of their manhood today, but none is more widespread and detrimental than sexual immorality.
Think of what our sons are exposed to as they grow up. The culture is saturated with sexual images on television, in movies, on the Internet, on their phones—everywhere they look. Most boys see hard-core pornography by the age of ten, and many become addicted to online pornography as teenagers. It isn’t a matter of wondering if they will see pornography; it’s more of a question of how much they’ve seen and how they should respond. In thousands of ways, they are told that the mark of a real man is his sexual experience. It really is, EVERY mans battle (including women, i.e., our daughters especially).
Is it any wonder that they grow up with a warped perspective of their sexuality? That they carry those views into their twenties and thirties, and ultimately into their marriages? That their sexual experimentation eventually impacts and undermines their marriages?
Asking My Son “THE” Question
I’m still not sure what caused me to ask my fourteen-year-old son the question, but one day around dinnertime I said, “I’ve been thinking about you recently, and I was just wondering if you’ve been looking at any stuff you ought not to be looking at?”
He knew exactly what I was asking. He looked at me as if I were omnipresent and said, “Well, as a matter of fact, today at lunch as I was eating my sandwich in the classroom, a couple of guys brought a Playboy Magazine into the room and asked me if I wanted to look at it.”
I tried to be calm as I asked, “So what’d you do?”
He responded, “I wrapped up my sandwich . . . and walked out of the room!”
At that point I broke into a huge grin and shouted, “Yes!” as though my son had just scored in the Super Bowl. He had.
What’s Your Role, Dad?
In our culture, we cannot afford to forsake our sons to sort through this complex issue alone. If you had to face it alone as a teenager, I’m truly sorry. You know how destructive this issue can be. I urge you to let your experiences motivate you to protect your son from those entanglements. Join him in the battle. Step into his life. Help him. To do that, you’ll need to step up and out of the issues in your life that are like quicksand.
Here are some helpful websites and other resources to turn to for help, recovery and prevention (descriptions are from the related sites):
- Freedom Begins Here: Whether you’re struggling with pornography addiction, or just want some help talking to your son about Sex,we have designed our resources to equip you with the necessary tools.
- Every Mans Battle Video: We’ve known those who have failed in their battle for sexual purity, and we know some who have won. The difference? Those who won hated their impurity. They were going to war and were going to win – or die trying. Every resource was leveled upon the foe.
- FamilyLife’s Passport to Purity: Your child begins the journey into adolescence in a world of sexting, bullying, online stalking, and moral defiance. Innocence is under attack, and you cannot win the battle with a single awkward talk or a strict set of rules. The primary defense for your child is a strong relationship with you and with God.
- Every Mans Battle (the book) (from FamilyLife store): Millions have found Every Man’s Battle the single greatest resource for overcoming the struggle and remaining strong in the face of temptation. With extensive updates for a new generation, this phenomenal bestseller shares the stories of dozens who have escaped the trap of sexual immorality and presents a practical, detailed plan for any man who desires sexual integrity.
- The Purity Principle by Randy Alcorn (in FamilyLife’s store): Some people have given up on purity. Some have never tried. Bestselling author Randy Alcorn shows us why, in this culture of impurity, the stakes are so high — and what we can do to experience the freedom of purity. Impurity will always destroy us; purity always leads to higher pleasures! Choose wisely. Let the insights of this amazing book — written for old and young, married and single — help you gain your footing on the path to truly lasting joy.
- Internet Filters for your computer. We’ve included a link to a page that has reviewed the top filters for you to review on your own. Additionally, Covenant Eyes and XXX Church are other filters/accountability services for your review.
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**NOTE that other than the FamilyLife products (identified specifically), the inclusion of a product or service is not an endorsement of the product, price, effectiveness or anything else related to the item, so any purchase is at your discretion and FamilyLife/Stepping Up is not responsible for any issues you may have in further pursuit of any products or services listed. This is simply a list to help you get started finding resources to help you find other resources that might help in your circumstances**
Rainey, Dennis (2011-05-11). Stepping Up (Kindle Locations 1433-1444). FamilyLife Publishing®. Kindle Edition.