Note: This is the third piece in a series of blog posts related to the growing cultural issue of girls becoming much more aggressive toward boys when it comes to relationships and sexual activity. Yesterday, I outlined things you need to be aware of and some of the reasons we have come to this place in boy/girl relationships and how to protect your sons from aggressive girls. Whenever I discuss this issue, parents ask me, “How do we address this issue with our daughters?” That’s what I focus on today.
If you are raising a daughter, there are at least four things you should consider:
1) Equip your daughter with a biblical, healthy, God-centered perspective of her sexuality. She needs to understand how her clothes and her behavior affect boys. When girls are too flirty or too friendly with the opposite sex, they need to be told. If you witness this kind of behavior, rehearse it and relive it later on and talk about what it does to guys. Explain what is appropriate in terms of a friendly relationship between a young lady and a young man. This needs to be done without being rude, but we cannot let our daughters get away with being overly friendly or overly aggressive.
2) Moms, model what you teach to your daughters. You need to dress appropriately, the way you would want your teenage daughters to dress when they’ve matured. There is a mixed signal that is sent when a mom is telling her daughter to dress conservatively, but her own clothes call too much attention to her body.
3) Dads, actively love your daughters. Give your daughter words of affection, warm hugs, and gentle kisses that let her know that she’s sweet, you’re her daddy, and that no matter how big she gets and how mature she is, you’re never going to stop giving her those words and those hugs. No matter how threatening that may be as your daughter matures, you need to let her know that there’s a wholesome love through words and affection that occurs within a God-centered family.
4) Appropriately correct inappropriate behavior. Pray about how you should instruct her, help her, and correct her. Then begin to train her as to what is appropriate and what isn’t. This could be everything from how she looks at guys, to the makeup she wears, to the clothing she wears.
One of the most important things I did with our daughters was to go shopping with them. It was important for two reasons: It showed me how difficult it was for them to find appropriate clothing that is modest and fashionable; and secondly, it allowed me to give my approval or disapproval before the purchase was made.
Whether you’re a mom or dad, and whether you’re raising boys or girls, your children need your love and guidance as never before. They need to be loved when they don’t believe in themselves. They need to be clothed in wisdom that morally protects them like armor.
What do you think about the nature of aggressive girls in relationships? What have you done to prepare your sons, talk to your daughters and raise them both to honor God and His word when it comes to dating and relationships?